Rude Teenagers?

Few days back I just met a friend as she called me for a cup of coffee.. I am generally very tempted as such invitations only mean a long heart to heart chat between two friends. Lot of updating on each other's life and makes me feel really light at end of such coffee sessions.

When I reached her place it was almost 12.00 noon as Mumbai traffic caught me badly and it was seen on my face. I rang the bell anticipating my friend to open the door but instead her teenage son opened the door, with a typical half smile and a reluctant eye contact he managed to tell me that my friend had an important meeting and would be coming home within 30 min.

He offered me to sit and simply disappeared in the bedroom, I was thirsty and needed water to drink, I was surprised that her son did not notice even sweat on my forehead and never bothered to switch on the AC or fan for me.

When my friend arrived she was too apologetic towards her delay and simply rushed inside the kitchen to fetch me some cold water as she very well knew her son would behave in that peculiar manner.

After our initial euphoria got over as we generally have when two friends meet after a long, she expressed her genuine concern over her son's behavior.

he was far from being responsible, he was many a times rude to others and was reluctant to let her know about his life or his concerns. she said he was never like this before..

I remembered her initial motherhood days..her child was her pride, she was a happy mother and he used to listen to almost every instruction of hers..he had a schedule for everything including his sleeping time, bathroom time, eating time and so on..his diet was decided by her as per strict instructions from doctors or dietitians based on his nutritional requirements as per her calculations..

And suddenly her child was behaving differently, he was rude, was taking his own decisions against her wishes and it was apparent that child was purposely behaving in a manner which hurt her personally, most of the time showing rebellion streak…knowing very well what may be disliked by her he would exactly do the same.

He very well knew his indifferent behavior with his mother's friend would hurt his mother but he still was rude and indifferent - rather he wanted to evoke such reactions from his mother

My friend has been a working mother, but always tried to be a supermom, managing everything under the label of perfect mother as she perceived.

Initially the child is interacting with only his mother so he only follows what he hears from her, his life only revolves around his mother or parents and there is no other influence on him, giving a pseudo impression to a mother that he is listening, when he starts growing he starts interaction with others, his friends, teachers, he watches TV and is influenced by other media interactions -he starts now actually thinking, and if takes a decision with his own intellect what suits him more..,if this goes against what his mother is saying, mother feels threatened that her son is getting out of her control ,she tightens the control devices from her side , it hurts her more and more and the gap widens..and the result is rebellion in a teenage.

The child has gone through his share of pain when he was never consulted and was asked to behave according to his parents' wishes and he secretly thinks it's their turn now..

Now when parents think that they need to talk, they assume that they are right and need to put this across to the child's mind but the child thinks the same, so finally there is no result desired either by parents or by child as both are working in opposite direction. It is not a dialogue as it only turns out to be an argument.

Finally parents give up, accept that children of today are bound to behave like this, they console themselves by seeing around and giving similar examples to themselves and ultimately allowing the distance between them to grow further.

Sad but true..